Hand-in-hand with the waning of my confidence came a slow decline in self-respect. I kept thinking "How did you let yourself get this way?" One day, I caught a glimpse of myself in our bedroom mirror and had to look twice. I thought, "Who put me in a fat suit?!" I barely recognized myself. This was the moment I realized I had to make a change.
The more I thought about my options and eventually, weight watchers, the more I hoped that I really could change. I hoped that there was a future different than my present. I came through the door to weight watchers because I felt I owed it to myself. I had to start respecting myself enough to acknowledge that I needed help to make the changes I wanted to make.
Even after making these changes I still struggle with self-respect. If I have a bad week, when I overindulge, or when I don't make it to the gym, I am really hard on myself. I tend to lose perspective on how far I have come. So, this is an area I continue to work through, but I have definitely felt improvement from where I started. I do respect myself for all the changes I have made and for taking that first step into a weight watchers meeting. As my leader, Yvonne, often says, "No one comes skipping through the doors saying, 'Yay! I get to join weight watchers!'" Taking that first step is scary. Acknowledging the not-so-good choices I had been making and then doing something about it required swallowing my pride. Don't worry, my pride didn't hurt for long; because I dusted off my self-respect in that meeting room...and we're making a come back.
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