#9- Clothes
I had avoided shopping for a long time because I felt like it was impossible to find clothes that fit me properly. I got so tired of putting on clothes and feeling like nothing looked right. Two summers ago, I needed an outfit for a job interview, so my mom took me shopping. I had in my mind that I wanted a dressy suit, but none of them fit well. I can't tell you how many outfits I tried on that day! It was horrible. When I had to pull size 12s and even a size 14 off the rack, it felt like a smack in the face. I had been getting pretty snug in my size 10s but had made myself believe it wasn't that bad. So, we bought the size 14 pants, but I knew I had to do something about my weight.
Around the same time as the "pants fiasco", Ryan and I were planning to attend a pool party. I needed a new bathing suit because, in disgust, I had thrown out all of my two piece suits from my honeymoon, resigning to the thought that I would never fit in them again. So, Ryan was sweet enough to go shopping with me and we found what I thought was a very cute black and white polka dot tankini. The bottom looked like a little skirt and covered up everything that needed to be covered. We got to the party and I was feeling OK about my new bathing suit, until an older, heavy woman came into the pool...she had the EXACT same style of bathing suit on as I did. I felt so embarrassed, I just wanted to disappear. I was only 23 years old and I was wearing an "old lady" bathing suit. A few weeks later, I made the choice to join weight watchers.
I was never one of those girls that was super stylish or into fashion. Even though I spent most of my teenage years in jeans, moccasins and weird T-shirts from Goodwill, I do like clothes and how good it feels to wear a new outfit. I had gone a long time without feeling good in my clothes because I was just trying to cover everything up! It felt really good when I was able to buy jeans that were a size 8! The day I bought a size 6 felt even better. Not just because it was a smaller size, but because I knew all of the ridiculously hard work I had put into fitting into that size 6. It's not really about the bathing suit, or the clothing, but I joined weight watchers, in part, because I was tired of those bad feelings. I wanted to try on clothes and have it be fun again...and it is!
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